Cathedral Ranking

Let's talk churches!

My wife sent me this video a few weeks back, where a priest puts all 33 Archdiocesan Cathedrals into a bracket and then picks the winner based on the coolness and vibes of the buildings. With all due respect to Fr. Gregory, his process was absolute garbage, full of biases and carelessness. It is clear that he isn’t a true disciple of the greatest pastime known to man, ranking things! I was so offended by his choices, I decided to do my own ranking and set things to right, with the cathedrals broken down into four tiers. Please let me know where you agree and disagree!

Also, before I dive in I want to say a few words in defense of my own cathedral in Lansing. It is not an Archdiocese so it won’t make this ranking, but the pictures are below.

I believe that St Mary’s has become underrated. Now, please do not misinterpret “underrated” to mean “good”. That are many valid criticisms of the church, especially regarding the awkward placement of the tabernacle and the bland, white walls. When people first began to complain about this church, they would say things like “It is such a missed opportunity” and “It used to be so much cooler back in the day”, all of which I am fine with. However, we have now devolved to the point where people are acting like it is a disgusting excuse for a church, that they hate it and think it is one of the worst cathedrals in the country, and that is too far. The stain glass windows are some of the most beautiful that I have ever seen, and it strikes an imposing figure when viewed from the front. Again, it is far from perfect, but I wish that we would be more careful in how we speak about it.

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Tier 1: Better than the Sistine Chapel

1. Mobile, AL (Immaculate Conception)

Wow. This church is absolutely perfect. The exterior looks uniquely southern in a very dignified, classy yet grand way. Those towers with the gold domes and columns up front are just exquisite. I am a sucker for a red and gold color scheme (shout out to the 49ers) and the interior does that flawlessly. This building is truly a work of art.

2. New Orleans, LA (St. Louis)

By far the best exterior of any church that I have seen, this looks like a proper tropical castle. One can imagine Princess Tiana from the Princess and the Frog moving in here, or some French aristocratic plantation house in the Caribbean. The flags in the interior are a nice touch, and I love the ceiling art and angelic statues.

3. St. Louis, MO (St. Louis)

An exterior that looks like a castle built for a Russia Tsar, combined with the some of the most beautiful wall art that I have ever seen in a Catholic church? Don’t mind if I do! Easy top 5 cathedral here.

4. St. Paul, MN (St. Paul)

The topographical prominence of this church is remarkable, as it is surrounded not by other tall buildings but blue sky and green grass. The intricate detail on the exterior trim is nice too. The interior is equally majestic, especially the awesome tabernacle set up behind the altar.

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Tier 2: I would love to go to Mass here!

5. Chicago, IL (Holy Name)

The blackness of the roof and spire here give a climactic quality to the exterior, and the theme continues on the inside with the ceilings and small windows making everything feel moody and dramatic. I am a big fan of this church.

6. Washington DC (St. Matthews)

I love the dome here as it is suitably dramatic, and it saves the otherwise off-putting red exterior. The inside here is nothing short of magnificent, however. I know the lighting in this pic is not the best, but I wanted one that shows all the wall art. It reminds me of an Eastern Orthodox church, or even a poor man’s Sistine Chapel.

7. Newark, NJ (Sacred Heart)

The subtle curvature of the exterior here is maybe my favorite touch in this entire ranking. The towers stand slightly forward from the entrance, making a shallow U shape that effectively draws you in. The motif continues on the inside, with the prominent pulpit and the narrow walls moving toward the altar. I love this building.

8. Baltimore, MD (Assumption)

The two different sections of this church give it a small and intimate feel, and I love the ceiling designs and artwork, giving it a very Orthodox feel. There is a lot going on with the exterior, and I feel like I should dislike it, but for some reason it just works for me.

9. Indianapolis, IN (Saints Peter and Paul)

The exterior here reminds me of a Middle Eastern government building, but the interior is another intimate masterpiece. The sanctuary is gorgeous, and those stain glass windows go insanely hard.

10. Hartford, CT (St. Joseph)

I love how tall the tower is on the outside, but in general the facade strikes me as something disconcertingly Soviet. It is the inside that sets this church apart, as I love the mosaic, the colors, and the high altar. The openness of the airspace I also find really pleasing, with no pillars or hanging light fixtures.

11. New York, NY (St. Patrick’s)

The twin spires here are reminiscent of Churchill Downs, and they fit in perfectly with the Manhattan skyscrapers. All of the intricate details on the exterior go a long way as well. The pillars on the inside are spectacular, with the classic high ceilings.

12. Atlanta, GA (Christ the King)

The entrance to the church being so far above ground level adds a sense of grandeur to the exterior, and the motif is continued on the inside with the dramatic stonework and archways. The interior does feel a bit cold, but all in all I like this church.

13. Detroit, MI (Blessed Sacrament)

The exterior here is like Notre Dame in miniature, effective yet unoriginal. Meanwhile I love the statues and organ pipes in the interior, although the walls and floor themselves are a bit troubling.

14. Santa Fe, NM (St. Francis)

The exterior here is perfect for New Mexico, and I love the courtyard in front. The interior has some very Orthodox icons, but for some reason the church feels small to me once you get inside.

15. Seattle, WA (St. James)

On paper there is nothing special about this exterior, but something about the design of these towers specifically I find pleasing. The inside is majestic and I like the gold accents, but it is weird how the altar is essentially in the middle of the church.

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Tier 3: Frankly, I am disappointed

16. San Antonio, TX (Saint Fernando)

The exterior here is perfect for the city it finds itself in, as it is profoundly Spanish in nature. The interior is disappointingly anti-climactic, however, and the location of the pillars and music section are oddly placed.

17. Milwaukee, WI (St. John the Evangelist)

I am not a fan of the singular tall, skinny tower, and the interior is just way too open. The organ pipes in the background and the crown of thorns sculpture hanging over the top are too nice to ignore as accent pieces, however.

18. Denver, CO (Immaculate Conception)

I love the prominent stain glass window on the front and the design of the towers, and the stain glass windows are always a nice touch on the inside. I have nothing bad to say about this church, but there is nothing great about it either.

19. Boston, MA (Holy Cross)

Tower, stain glass circular sun window, and suitably grand interior with beautiful arches and high ceilings. Textbook stuff from Boston right here, yet it does leave me wanting a bit more, as there is nothing to set it apart.

20. Omaha, NE (St. Cecilia)

There is something pleasing in the Wild West aesthetic of this exterior, and it almost gives me a Spanish vibe. Meanwhile the interior is the textbook definition of “fine”.

21. Cincinnati, OH (St. Peter in Chains)

The single, super tall, super skinny spire ascending from the center of the building is just a weird look. Also the mosaic at the front is incredibly epic, but I find the altar area to be a bit too open. The priests seem strangely exposed, which knocks this down my rankings.

22. Kansas City, KS (St. Peter)

This exterior looks like a worse version of Lansing, but it does get some bonus points for topographical prominence. I love the stain glass on the interior, and while it is a bit bland and white I do like how it brightens the room.

23. Dubuque, IA (St. Raphael)

This is a very old church hailing from the nineteenth century, and it shows. Frankly, the church just looks a bit run down and outdated. I do like the icons along the back wall, however.

24. Miami, FL (St. Mary)

Everything about this is just a little bit too much Florida for me. No matter what picture I look at and how much I zoom in, I cannot seem to figure out what the blue mural on the back wall is supposed to be.

25. Philadelphia, PA (Sts. Peter and Paul)

This is church works for Philly as it gives strong colonial vibes, reminding me of some of the historic government buildings through which I have traveled. Other than the light fixtures on the interior, however, it just doesn’t really do much for me. I just can’t escape the feeling that I am walking through the MI State Capitol, which is not how I should feel in a church. The brown exterior is much worse than it’s white counterpart in Baltimore as well.

26. Oklahoma City, OK (Our Lady of Perpetual Help)

This building cuts quite the imposing figure, but it looks more like a fancy university dining hall than a church. I do like the sky blue ceiling, but OKC has nothing else to tickle my fancy.

27. Portland, OR (St. Mary)

Alas, another church that looks like a random government building from the outside. The sanctuary is bright and attractive, but I am not a fan of pews facing one another on the sides of the altar like this.

28. Galveston, TX (St. Mary)

This exterior is unique but a little too eccentric for my tastes, and the interior is too simple as it lacks ornamentation. I am not a fan of this church, although it is definitely Texan.

29. Louisville, KY (Assumption)

The interior here is fine, as I like the pillars and stained glass. It does seem a bit bland, however, in comparison to something like DC. The exterior is also disappointing, as it reminds me too much of a New England Protestant church.

30. Anchorage, AK (Our lady of Guadalupe)

Such a missed opportunity from our northernmost state. The exterior is completely boring, and the blank white/yellow walls continue on the inside. Jut a lackluster showing from Anchorage here.

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Tier 4: If I was from California I would be ashamed to show my face in public

31. Las Vegas, NV (Guardian Angel)

All the triangles are just strange, as it is not a shape that you generally associate with a beautiful church. I will pass on the abstract art as well. No thank you!

32. Los Angeles, CA (Our lady of the angels)

This exterior looks like a terrible art museum, while the interior looks like a hipster restaurant. There is nothing even remotely reverent about any of this. Sad!

33. San Francisco, CA (Assumption)

An exterior that looks like a PlayStation, and an interior that looks like the Las Vegas sphere with the lights turned off? It’s a no from me, dog. This church is just plain disrespectful.